So, if you had told me a year ago that Mackenzie would be starting 5th grade, Blake would be starting 3rd grade, I would be working full time and enjoying my life and my kids, I wouldn’t have been surprised but if you had told me a special needs baby would be thrown in this mix, I would have had a panic attack ON. THE. SPOT. Funny how all that we’ve been thru in the past 8 months seems so HUGE while we were living it but in retrospect, now that I’m on this side of it and I know that more challenging days most likely lie ahead, the past 8 months seem more like a part of a bigger plan….a plan bigger than me, bigger than my family and bigger than anything we have the ability to understand. My control (which I never really had in the first place) has been taken away and replaced by trying to learn to live day by day and to live by faith.
On to what is going on with Peyton – we are still seeing daily seizures, but nothing like we have seen in the past. Development is a struggle, but we keep on keeping on and I know all her hard work is going to pay off. One of my favorite times of day is every night at about 9pm when Peyton is winding down and I hold her against my chest and she stares up at me and all is right with our world. I put all thoughts of seizures, developmental delays and other stressors right out of my head and I just hold my little baby girl and look in her eyes and enjoy her. For so many months, I didn’t feel like I could enjoy her because I was always waiting for the next seizure, but I am no longer letting the Seizure Monster rob me of the joy of my baby girl!!! So, Seizure Monster, once again, you are not winning!!!
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