That Connection

Peyton has had quite a month.  After her successful eye procedure, she got her very first fever.  It was 102.5.  I was terrified her seizures would just go crazy, but they didn’t!!!  They actually decreased when her fever was really high.  She had an infection caused by the drainage from all the junk (for lack of a better medical term) that was released when her tear duct was cleaned out.  She went on her first antibiotic and it cleared right up. 

Christmas was great.  Got to see lots of family and had lots of get togethers.  Peyton had a little cough before Christmas that got worse thru the holidays and we took her to the pediatrician the week after Christmas because she had started running a low grade fever.  She had Pneumonia.  We caught it early so they loaded her up with more antibiotics.  The seizures did act up this time but they were manageable. 

So, fast forward to now and the pneumonia is gone, her new kid cart and stander arrive Monday and we are soooo excited about it.  Who ever thought I would be this excited to get special needs equipment in my house???   We have been using loaners and I am eternally grateful for these, but still very excited about the new stuff!

Some sweet moments lately….she has an awareness of us that hasn’t been present before.  She will follow us with her eyes if we walk by and she even smiled at Ed this week when he was playing with her.  The kids and I got some little smiles out of her this morning.  How to explain how this makes me feel is difficult….a year ago, I was praying that the seizures would stop and she would be a completely normal child…..now, I pray for the seizures to stop and for Peyton to just smile at us and know we love her – yes, I still want her to develop normally, but that is vastly less important to me now – I just want us to have that emotional connection with her.  This is more important to me than her sitting, crawling, walking, saying her ABC’s or meeting every milestone.  I don’t mean we aren’t going to continue working with her every single day to meet her milestones, it just means that I’m a little more patient with the milestones than I am with getting that emotional connection.   Of course, I may change my tune after she’s been smiling at babbling at us for a few months, but I reserve the right for future impatience and complainingJ

Will post some Christmas pics later this weekend!