"For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Bumpity Bump Bump Bump


Peyton has been cruising along, doing new things, smiling more, and is just so much more content than we have ever seen her and I guess the Seizure Monster just couldn’t stand it and thought he would just show us what he can do and how devastating he can be to a 2 year old’s development.  The seizure monster makes me bitter and angry.  I don’t understand it.  I don’t understand the cruelty of it all.  It literally brings us to our knees to have to watch her have seizure after seizure after seizure.  Yesterday was actually a good day and she didn’t have any seizures till the evening and they were few and short, but today she woke up and they started with a vengeance.  The medication increase will take 6 weeks to complete so we just pray we see positive things after we complete the increase.  Her ketones were moderate on Monday so maybe this is playing a role??  It’s all one big guessing game and it just makes us crazy. 

We just want her to feel good and be happy and know how much we love her, but the seizures seem to rob her of all of that.  It’s not fair.  I know that life isn’t fair, but it’s especially cruel when it’s unfair to a child…..a child that hasn’t had a chance to giggle, play and just feel good.

Can you tell it’s a bad day??  I’m clearly in pity party mode so I am going to go regroup and refocus and be back later with a better attitude.  

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